Blog Archives

Curse God, It’s Monday

February 21, 2011
By
Curse God, It’s Monday

(Listen here: Double Odd Buck — Curse God, It’s Monday) Stressed out shell, you’re burning, burning, Itching from the inside, burning up. Burning alone, thinking no one would listen, Burning alone, thinking no one should care. Fall down, fall down, fall down again. Fall down, fall down, fall down dead. Fall down, fall down, fall…

Read more »

Dogs from the Inside Out

February 20, 2011
By
Dogs from the Inside Out

A car had to be moved before the tow truck arrived to wreck the week for everyone who lived inside of it. Why people were living in a car on the main street of town was anyone’s guess, but sometimes people do ridiculous things for seemingly no good reason whatsoever. My heartburn isn’t any more…

Read more »

Your Tomb is Just a Waiting Room

January 19, 2011
By
Your Tomb is Just a Waiting Room

A dragon kept to itself for days on end will tend to get swizzlestick drunk with a hunchback and his ugly sister on a barstool conversation for entertainment purposes. When you’re bored enough to sin with hunchbacks, you’re lording over the prime real estate of the mentally challenged. I like to point out here that…

Read more »

Lopez the Penitent

December 1, 2010
By
Lopez the Penitent

“French bad guys look like bland peacocks at a bakery raid!” was the first thing I heard upon stepping from Sunday’s Church Of The Month onto the gritty cobblestones of Athens’ main street and the traffic which was inevitably to be found there. The guy who had said this was a fellow of minuscule, yet…

Read more »

Lopez the Interloper

November 25, 2010
By
Lopez the Interloper

Her kisses left me feeling empty — groping in the darkness just wasn’t my style (anymore). Could she understand that? I couldn’t, either. So what? Just dance, I told myself. But that was like scratching for some kind of reason, and I was through with scratching. Over and done. My feet were blistered and sick…

Read more »

For the Love of Milton

November 24, 2010
By
For the Love of Milton

“Is this bad?” he asked while tossing his entrails casually into the brown paper grocery sack. She smiled and nodded her approval. “Is this bad?” he asked, as he carefully yanked free each of his bitten-down fingernails with the dimestore needle-nosed pliers he wielded. “Of course.” she said, her smile growing wider. “Is this bad?”…

Read more »

Grey Train

November 22, 2010
By
Grey Train

Spots obscured her vision as she tried to make out the shape of what was left of the Washington Monument. The train was old — probably several decades old, at least — and very rickety. Creaking and rocking, back and forth, creaking and rocking, back and forth. The predictability of the motions left her with…

Read more »

Headaches and Handcuffs

November 20, 2010
By
Headaches and Handcuffs

Fugzilla had headaches ten times the size of Tokyo — so could you blame him for his normally unsociable behavior? Would you keep that kind of stuff inside of your head? No, I thought not. Omaha was in awful shape on its own demerits, so what’s the real harm, anyways? Well, plenty, according to the…

Read more »

Giller

November 19, 2010
By
Giller

The setup was terrible in the first place. Cramped and complaining, we dug our heels into the hard earth, biding our time for relief’s sweet mercy. It was impossible to stand fully upright, and there were too many of us in the tiny hut for anyone to sit down or stretch our aching bodies, so…

Read more »

Grain Alcohol for Jezebel

November 18, 2010
By
Grain Alcohol for Jezebel

Her eyes are brightly lit splendors to behold: She’s a frog, of course! And that’s what makes her different from all the others. She wasn’t one to hang half-naked pictures of other men at her office desk. She had been kissing princes for the last five years…until she got to me, that is. I didn’t…

Read more »