'80s, Not 80's: How to Use Apostrophes in Decades

’80s, Not 80’s: How to Use Apostrophes in Decades

Having trouble with knowing where to put apostrophes in decades? This easy-to-follow guide should help turn your frown of confusion upside-down!

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Our Legs Crossed in Just the Right Way

Our Legs Crossed in Just the Right Way

Bolted to the headstart, we were going to the galactic center of a Tootsie Roll Pop and licking every center from the inside out and…

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Cafe Delano: Creep in the Cellar

Cafe Delano: Creep in the Cellar

Yelp only allows something like 5,000 characters per review, so I had to considerably trim down this one-star review of the new business that effectively…

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Something Done Right

Something Done Right

The last time Artie had been to Spain, there was a lot of explaining to do. Sadly, since he didn’t speak a blessed word of…

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The Dust of Past Decades

The Dust of Past Decades

Caretaker Thompson pensively chewed the taste-spent lump of spearmint gum in the gap between the molars where he’d lost a tooth to a slip of…

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Begonia Escargot

Begonia Escargot

What won us the war? Begonia Escargot. When they ask me 20, 30, 40 years down the way — when they’re piecing together what happened…

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Hiding out in Hillbilly Timbuktu

Hiding out in Hillbilly Timbuktu

Sure, the off-white sheets had been changed recently, but the nauseating aroma of old leftovers wafted from the mini-fridge like a fog of decay. An…

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Taming the Long Thirst

Taming the Long Thirst

The alehouse’s brash din was a welcome respite from the grave silence of the mountain crypt and its endless, solemn halls that Fulholme and company…

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No One's a Wunderkind in the Darkness

No One’s a Wunderkind in the Darkness

The mechanized dipshits on floor nine had no idea where to begin. Boxes, many burst like office supply piƱatas, lay in toppled stacks across the…

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This is Not a Hug Song

This is Not a Hug Song

The telemarketer’s headache radiated pain beyond her skull’s confinement and filled the summer-steamy subway car with waves of despair that crashed in all directions outward….

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