The last time Artie had been to Spain, there was a lot of explaining to do. Sadly, since he didn’t speak a blessed word of Spanish, the explanations went mainly unnoticed — but not before he was thrown in the local jail to await translation. It was unclear if he had meant to offend...
Caretaker Thompson pensively chewed the taste-spent lump of spearmint gum in the gap between the molars where he’d lost a tooth to a slip of a faulty mechanical shovel back in the ’50s. Raking the autumn oak leaves from where they rested on another...
What won us the war? Begonia Escargot. When they ask me 20, 30, 40 years down the way — when they’re piecing together what happened for their fancy books, undergraduate lecture halls, and big budget history documentaries — I’ll say the same thing. After...
Sure, the off-white sheets had been changed recently, but the nauseating aroma of old leftovers wafted from the mini-fridge like a fog of decay. An antediluvian slab of fungus-encrusted...
The alehouse’s brash din was a welcome respite from the grave silence of the mountain crypt and its endless, solemn halls that Fulholme and company had traversed for the...
The mechanized dipshits on floor nine had no idea where to begin. Boxes, many burst like office supply piñatas, lay in toppled stacks across the tread-creased, threadbare carpeting. Mold-scented...