Her eyes are brightly lit splendors to behold: She’s a frog, of course! And that’s what makes her different from all the others. She wasn’t one to hang half-naked pictures of other men at her office desk.

She had been kissing princes for the last five years… until she got to me, that is. I didn’t need the conversion, as I was already half-frog (by my father’s side. A real pad-hopper he was, according to my mother’s recollection).

I just needed the right hat and a month at the health club.

We were perfect for each other, by that time, and all I had to do to complete the transformation was eat a bucket full of raisin flies.

Mission completed, and now my frog-bride and I are the happiest tadpole-tenders in the whole dang state! Yee-haw!

[Image by McLoughlin Bros, 1898]